Some are born great, some achieve greatness, the lucky ones, become rugby fans. They could be lawyers by day, doctors, finance directors, even socialites. On any given Saturday (rugby day) however, they are rugby fans.
Like all beings, no rugby fan is the same to the other, here are a few types you will definitely find at a any given rugby match in Kenya.
The Staunch Supporter – This one takes the game of rugby very seriously, you will be forgiven for mistaking them for a union official. They were probably players in another life and strictly come to watch the game and watch they do. You will find them at isolated corners, by themselves keenly following the game.
The Assistant Coach/Analyst – Has little or no rugby history, probably stumbled on the sport due to a few friends. This has however never stopped them from loudly giving their ‘professional’ analysis of what the coach/player should have done. “Aaaah huyu msee anado nini si angepita na huyo jamaa..” Is their signature after every break in play. If you sit next to one, please ask them where the offside line is, in a maul.
The Former/Current Player – These ones are real fun to have along, preferably, the former player should have played during Kibaki’s Presidency, anything before that is probably a staunch fan. These ones know how if feels to be inside there, this to them is a rare opportunity and they make real good use of it. They are very cautious though since they know that they’ll be back on the pitch soon. Something about Karma, ukimcheka mwenzako… they still will never pass up an opportunity to laugh or cheer a play.
The Heckler – By far the loudest and most popular of rugby fans, to them the sport comes second, to fun. They understand the game inside out, know the players, their immediate families and ex girlfriends. They have watched tonnes of matches and know when to and when not to cheer. These are your chant leaders..you have not experienced rugby until you sit next to these ones.
The 5th Official – Despite the game having a center referee, two touch judges, an assistant referee and sometimes a TMO, these great servants of the game take it up on themselves to ‘help’ ref the game. A variation of the assistant coach, these ones will dispute almost every call made, with little or no basis.
The First Timer – These are the most important people, without them this sport will never grow. They come in may types. There is the one who probably picked up a rugby ball once, in Form one, but has convinced his friends what a pro he is, his act usually comes undone once they shout knock on after a forward pass.
The other is here to have fun and there is nothing coming between them and their goal, they will cheer everything and anything, I wish I could be them at every game. Then there is the ‘Mjuaji’ probably accompanied by their significant other, out there they are stars, they forget that this is not ‘out there.’ These ones eventually get reminded how rugby makes us all equal..
The Updater – Not a journalist or blogger, but comes to the game, to update proceedings. They’ll come with friends but will spend 80% of the time typing away at their phones and taking selfies. A quick glance at their social media timelines gives you a pound for pound account of the game.
The Story teller – You meet up with this one hours before the game, they are silent, you grab a drink together, casual chats at best. Then the referee blows for kick off, to them this whistle sound opens the story flood gates. They all of a sudden get these earth shuttering stories that they must share, immediately.
Despite your best efforts to ignore them, their determination to share this story is like Joshua Chisanga at full flight, unstoppable. The saddest part is, when you finally decide to give them your ear, the story is stale at best and you just missed a great play.
The Clueless Drunk – The best part about this one is, it never is the same person, though there are a notorious few. You could walk in as the staunch fan or the former player, then after what looks like a few drinks to you, BAM! You are the clueless drunk, roaming around paying no attention to the game, having the time of your life. Your stay is usually short and morning after, brutal!
There are tonnes more of rugby fan types out there, these should be the most common though, have I missed any? Share them in the comments section..as always cha muhimu, sherehe!
KWISHA…Nimeruka Nje!!!
